Feb. 14th, 2009 09:00 am
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Yesterday, I accidentally stumbled upon a "Confederate Heritage" site. In my morbid meanderings, I noticed that on their completely delusional map of the "Modern Confederacy", they showed Virginia and West Virginia as a single state. Apparently, they don't think intra-state secession is legitimate or something... :-D
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Wonder how many fellow students will skip class to watch the inauguration?
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Some people on the "idiot" side of the political spectrum are trying to make a big deal out of Obama planning to use his full legal name , including the dreaded "Hussein" part of it, during his swearing in at the inauguration. But to be legally binding, don't oaths _have_ to be sworn that way? I remember that's what they told us when I got sworn into the Army. Or is that merely custom, rather than law? In which case Private Throatwarbler Gaylord Mangrove Smith, who prefers to go by "Bob", could have been saved some momentary embarrassment.
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You showed me that I was wrong to be cynical, that my fellow Americans _can_ choose hope instead of fear, that as a people, we are slowly but surely growing beyond the petty hatreds that shackled us in the past. Though the passage of the odious Proposition 8 and similar measures show we still have a ways to go, your campaign and victory has shown that, for all our flaws, we are at least willing to try to live up to our creed, that "All Men Are Created Equal".

Now, you could still be a disaster of a president. I think you've got what it takes to be a decent one, though I might be wrong. But be aware that you'll face a level of scrutiny no president has ever faced before. The microscopes that the right wing focused on Clinton are nothing compared to what they'll bring to bear on you. You have to have a spotless administration and personal life, and even then, the idiots that still think you're a secret Muslim-Commie-Atheist-Illuminati-Reptoid will be convinced you're up to no good. But hey, you made history, and even though our grandchildren will shrug and wonder what the big deal was*, WE know how significant yesterday was.

One more thing: You made a generation who was used to wallowing in cynicism, believe in their country, some of them for the first time. You gave people HOPE. And hope hurts, when the object of that hope doesn't come through. You're bound to disappoint us some times. You're only human, you're allowed to fail, and you'll be forgiven if we think you honestly tried. But if you're _ever_ thought to have actively betrayed those hopes, then your political career will be over, and the people who are cheering you now will hate you with a fiery passion that will make Ann Coulter seem sane in comparison. So get to work, and good luck!

*While those same grandkids are shrugging about the Ancient History of the First Black President, some of them will be smashing toasters to protest Robot Marriage. The more things change...
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"Voters gone wild" videos.
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Ganked from [ profile] filkertom:
1. Do you have the guts to answer these questions and re-post as The Controversial Survey?

No, you can stop reading now.

2. Would you do meth if it was legal?

Probably not.

3. Abortion: for or against it?

As I am not a female, biological or otherwise, it's none of my damn business. And unless you, personally, possess a functioning uterus, it's none of yours either.

4. Do you think the world would fail with a female president?

The world has a president?

5. Do you believe in the death penalty?

In principle, yes, but in practice, our justice system has proven itself to be too fallable to be trusted with that sort of power.

6. Do you wish marijuana would be legalized already?

Yes. if only so the stoners would quit whining about it.

7. Are you for or against premarital sex?


8. Do you believe in God?

Nope. Gee, this survey is easy!

9. Do you think same sex marriage should be legalized?

Yes. As should polygamy. If non-human sapience is ever engineered, then AIs, posthumans, and uplifted squid should all be eligible too.

10. Do you think it's wrong that so many Hispanics are illegally moving to the USA?

I think it's "wrong" in the sense that it's illegal, and the human trafficers who profit from it are usually tied up in other criminality too, and the government does have a legitimate interest in cracking down on it. That said, I don't really condemn the illegals, as they're only doing exactly what I would do in their situation.

Edit: If we _really_ want to crack down, we should start deporting their employers. They're the real criminals, IMO.

11. A twelve year old girl has a baby, should she keep it?

Generally "no", but I'm sure there are exceptional 12 year olds out there who can handle the responsibilities.

12. Should the alcohol age be lowered to eighteen?


13. Should the war in Iraq be called off?

Called on account of sun? It's hot as a mofo there...

14. Assisted suicide is illegal: do you agree?

Yes, I agree that it's illegal. I'm getting the feeling that the writer of this meme isn't as bright as they think they are.

15. Do you believe in spanking your children?

In some circumstances. If a child is too young to understand reason, and engaged in behavior that present an active danger to themselves or others, then a little aversive conditioning is perfectly justifiable. It should never be because the parent was simply upset, or because the child was "bad", it should be a simple matter of what stimulus is most effective to get the kid to learn.

16. Would you burn an American flag for a million dollars?

Considering that that _is_ the approved method of disposing of worn out flags, then yes, I would pocket the money, and then burn the flag with all due ceremony and reverence.

17. Who do you think would make a better president? McCain or Obama?

We'd beter HOPE it's Obama now. :-)

18. Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?

Not really.
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Would be my name if I were born to Sarah Palin. Or possibly "Package Wichita Palin", which sounds like a rather desperate porn name. Disclaimer: I approve wholeheartedly of people giving their children unusual names, but I still think this is funny.

And speaking of Palin, the rumor a few weeks back regarding her youngest kid's actual parentage turned out to have probably* been false, but the official "Went into premature labor so jumped the first 10 hour flight home so her baby could be born in ALASKA, by God!" story is fishy as hell. Anyone with such poor judgement shouldn't be trusted with children at all, much less nuclear launch codes. So what I think happened was, there was no surprise labor, or if there was, it happened after she got back to Alaska. She went in an got labor induced, whether for pressing medical reasons, or just because it was at a time convenient to her schedule. Something that plenty of women do, but which wouldn't necessarily endear her to the "base", so she made up some bullshit story to get sympathy. Of course I can't prove this, but if it turns out to be true, I WILL say "I told you so!"

*Because they _could_ still be lying about the timing, or even the fact of, the daughters current pregnancy. Not likely, though.
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Obama leads McCain in donations from troops.

U.S. soldiers have donated more presidential campaign money to Democrat Barack Obama than to Republican John McCain, a reversal of previous campaigns in which military donations tended to favor GOP White House hopefuls, according to a nonpartisan group.


Troops serving abroad have given more than five times as much money to Obama's presidential campaign as they have to McCain's, the Center for Responsive Politics said
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When All True Patriots should stomp on a confederate flag while chanting "U! S! A!" But Traitor flags are in short supply up in these parts...
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Courtesy of Warren Ellis:
For senior, abortion a medium for art, political discourse

Art major Aliza Shvarts ’08 wants to make a statement.

Beginning next Tuesday, Shvarts will be displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself "as often as possible" while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process.

Truly, we are living in strange days. Though it wouldn't surprise me at all if this was a hoax, even that would still be horrific yet hysterically absurd. Ultimately, though, It affects my opinion on abortion not at all. What is that opinion, you may ask? Why, my opinion is that, as a male, my opinion doesn't really count. Abortion is an issue that affects women much more than it does men, to the point that any opinion that a guy might have is pretty much irrelevant. If I _had_ an opinion, it would be that the issue should be decided by the votes of biological females, and biological females _only_. Ideally, it would be all those who are between puberty and menopause, and not otherwise of impaired fertility, i.e., having already been sterilized, because they're the only ones who would be immediately affected. But realistically, that would be way too difficult to enforce, not to mention intrusive, and the whole under-age voter thing would be a deal breaker. Still, that's a matter for other heads than mine to work out, since, as I've already mentioned, it's none of my business. And if you're not a biological female, it's none of yours either.

Edit: The more I think about this, the more certain I am it's a hoax. Barring a comprehensive doctor's exam and DNA testing of the "miscarriages", I'm going to assume that the artist in question has simply found a creative use for menstrual blood, and a credulous audience to outrage.

Further Edit: I was right. Still, kind of disappointing that they didn't stretch the joke out a bit longer, they could have gotten days of headline news coverage out of this, making the eventual punchline that much sweeter.

Oh noes!

Apr. 8th, 2008 08:03 pm
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Behold the sheer mind-rending terror that is The Atheist Apocalypse!
edit: More web comics: The Smashing Adventures of the Bottomleys, Mangled Stare, Looking for Group, Backward Compatible. Other linky things: 17 month old toddler can read, The truth behind 1980s video games revealed, Is society ready for a pregnant husband?, "Civil forfeiture" really &*$%ing sucks, Gygax inspired motivational posters, In Regard to Surviving in a World With James Caan, Tin Can Optimus Prime, and finally, just for giggles, a really cool pirate wench corset

Also, Just a random thought: If you allow a friend to address you as "Asshole", does that mean you forfeit any right to complain if anyone else in the whole world does too? 'Cuz that's the exact same logic that "But black people call each other 'nigger', so why can't I?" type idiots use.
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It seems silly that we even need such a day, but, whatever.

So, torture is bad, see? It's completely ineffective as a means of intelligence gathering, since the victim will say whatever he thinks the torturer wants to hear, and that torturer will have no way of knowing weather the information gathered is accurate. Even in the much ballyhooed "ticking bomb" scenario, your much likelier to get inaccurate information which will result in you wasting manpower running after non-existent threats, while the real bomb continues ticking.

On the other hand, torture can be very effective as a means of ensuring compliance to authority by spreading fear. So if you think the US is really made safer by the rest of the world thinking of us as evil Ogres who rape babies while their parents are forced to watch, then I guess torture could be said to "work" after all.:-P
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... Is going to have the most motivated, hard-core crew EVER:
Ship built with WTC steel christened. The USS New York, an amphibious assault ship built with scrap steel from the ruins of the World Trade Center, was christened Saturday as a source of strength and inspiration for the nation.

Other news: This is both fucked-up as Hell, and perversely awesome: A supervisor at a motivational coaching business in Provo is accused of waterboarding an employee in front of his sales team to demonstrate that they should work as hard on sales as the employee had worked to breathe.

This, on the other hand, is just fucked up: Judge jailed for refusing to sit in court with crucifix. An Italian judge was sentenced to a year in prison for refusing to sit in a courtroom with a crucifix on the wall, his lawyer said. Sad that stupidity like this should take place, but at least it's not happening _here_...

While I find the whole concept of "aristocracy" deeply abhorrent, even I have to admit that Prince Harry's one of the "good ones".

Random thoughts: I wonder how long it will be before the purveyers of the "Black Confederates" meme notice that Nazi Germany's military had a small number of ethnically "Jewish" soldiers in their ranks, and therefore conclude that the Nazi's weren't really anti-semitic?

Also, peoples should read Ctrl+Alt+Del, Divalicious, and Sketchies.

update I am a bad boyfriend, as I did not credit the wonderful and awesometastic [ profile] nanimo for Ctrl+Alt+Del. Forgive, Mistress! Forgive! (sob)
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Man who keyed car gets day in court; so do Marines Jay Grodner, the Chicago lawyer who keyed a Marine's car in anger because the car had military plates and a Marine insignia, finally got his day in court last week.

Grodner pleaded guilty in a Chicago courtroom packed with former Marines. Some had Marine pins on their coats, or baseball jackets with the Marine insignia. They didn't yell or call him names. They came to support Marine Sgt. Michael McNulty, whose car Grodner defaced in December, but who couldn't attend because he's preparing for his second tour in Iraq.

Now, I mock and scorn Jarheads as much as the next Grunt, but it warms my soul that this weasel lawyer got a nice dose of public humiliation to go with his slap on the wrist. Still, this part of the article bugs me: Judge O'Malley has also traveled, but in his youth. He was a police officer on the West Side during the riots before law school. And before that, he performed another public service. Judge O'Malley served in the U.S. Marine Corps from 1961-1964.

He probably should have recused himself. If the jackass vandal in question has gonads of greater than microscopic size, he could have plausibly claimed that the judge's past service made impartiality impossible. Still, some justice was done.
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Well of _course_ they're all nothing but thinly veiled Star Wars characters. What did you expect?
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I've been thinking about the whole illegal immigration thing. Now, as anyone with an ounce of gray matter realizes, the root cause of the problem is not desperate third-world peasants who want to come here to work, but the shiftless corporate criminals who hire them. So, my proposed solution is twofold: First, anyone found to have knowingly hired an illegal immigrant automatically loses their citizenship (after a fair trial of course) and gets shipped to Mexico themselves, and gets fined, well, every piece of property they own. The second part is the fun one, though: The first illegal immigrant to narc on a given employer, will automatically _get_ citizenship, and a goodly portion of said corporate criminal's stuff. I predict that within a week, the demand for illegal workers will dry up, at which point, lacking any other employment options, the illegals will all go away of their own accord. Sure, this may seem harsh and arbitrary, but is it really any more draconian that the plans the right-wingers rant about all the time?
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You know what would be funny? If one or more of the pro-torture politicians/Faux News talking heads/wingnut bloggers out there got themselves kidnapped and tortured "Interrogated in an enhanced manner" into confessing that they, personally, were not only Al Qa'ida operatives, but Blood-Drinking Satanists, Illuminati spies, and Reptoids. The recorded bogus confessions could then be posted on youtube, and/or broadcast on national TV. Understand that I'm not actually _suggesting_ that anyone do this. It would be horribly illegal, after all. But it would also be freakin' HILARIOUS, and it just might serve to convince a few of the obsessive "24" viewers out there that torture is not, in fact, a reliable source of intelligence. Of course, the rest will immediately start blathering about "Scalo-Fascists".
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Fox News' attack on the honor and integrity of our war generals... And the text of the article -- by Fox News Contributor and frequent O'Reilly guest David Hunt -- is even more Despicable, as it repeatedly attacks the honor and integrity of members of the United States Armed Forces in one smearing paragraph after the next, beginning with this first sentence:

Our generals are betraying our soldiers . . . again.

Quiet, crickets, how can I hear the thunderous sound of outrage with you chirping like that?
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That was a trick question. The real answer is "All of the above, and much, much more". It's probably a good thing that he dodged the draft; Otherwise, his spinelessness would have gotten people killed directly when he inevitably panicked under fire. Fucking weasel.


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