Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 04:00 pm

Well, At Least He Was Efficient?

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Well, At Least He Was Efficient?

Manager: “Hey, I just saw next week's schedule and [New Hire] isn't on it. Why isn't he on shift?"
Supervisor: "He’s not with us anymore. Let him go this morning."
Manager: "Already? It’s been, what, four days?"
Supervisor: "Four. Long. Days."

Read Well, At Least He Was Efficient?

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal ([syndicated profile] smbc_comics_feed) wrote2025-07-11 11:20 am

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Sex

Posted by Zach Weinersmith



Click here to go see the bonus panel!

Hovertext:
Surely there's a LITTLE degradation? Maybe on weekends or Halloween?


Today's News:
Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 03:30 pm

She Keeps Misplacing That Apology

Posted by Not Always Right

Read She Keeps Misplacing That Apology

Wife: "Where are my car keys?"
Me: "I don't know, don't you usually keep them in your handbag?"
Wife: "I do, but they aren't there. You must have moved them."
Knowing full well I hadn't done so, I sighed internally, knowing this was going to be one of those conversations.

Read She Keeps Misplacing That Apology

Pharyngula ([syndicated profile] pharyngula_feed) wrote2025-07-11 03:02 pm

Does shark dentistry pay well?

Posted by PZ Myers

You wouldn’t think so, and it would be really tough to recruit people into the profession, but this game looks like my cup of tea.

(Warning: the trailer is a bit grisly.)

Except…it’s not out yet, and it’s Windows only. Why do people do that when there are perfectly good Linux/Unix operating systems out there?

Pharyngula ([syndicated profile] pharyngula_feed) wrote2025-07-11 02:44 pm

It’s science!

Posted by PZ Myers

Oh. It’s an experiment.

Man, I wish we were in the control group.

If you think the cartoon is too extreme, try reading Science magazine.

Similar conversations are taking place across the country as the federal government has paused or terminated billions of dollars of grants, proposed slashing research funding by more than 40% for key research agencies in the next fiscal year, and tried—so far without success—to cut overhead payments to universities. In response, graduate schools have reduced the size of their incoming cohorts and faculty have been anxiously watching their budgets and worrying about their own careers. “My lab is definitely going to shrink,” says Arthi Jayaraman, a chemical engineering professor at the University of Delaware.

So is U.S. academic science as a whole—perhaps dramatically. Numbers released in May by the National Science Foundation (NSF) indicate that if Congress approves the cuts to the agency proposed by the White House, the number of early-career researchers it supports could fall by 78%—from 95,700 undergraduates, graduate students, and postdocs during this fiscal year to 21,400 in 2026. Young researchers supported by other agencies would also be hit, and even senior faculty worry about their future. “It’s a nightmare,” Simon says. “I really fear for the future of science.” (NSF declined to comment for this story.)

Me, too.

Pharyngula ([syndicated profile] pharyngula_feed) wrote2025-07-11 02:24 pm

Spider-starved

Posted by PZ Myers

It’s not just this aching knee that’s making me feel dismal, it’s the dearth of spiders. I limp around the yard, and no spiders. I just got back from the lab, fed the spiders, and they were all hiding — they snatched up mealworms, but really didn’t want to visit. I’ve got an incubator full of egg sacs, but nobody has hatched out yet (maybe next week?).

Even the black widows are hiding in the vegetation, behind veils of silk.

I’m supposed to be out spidering, goddamnit.

Oh well, I’ve got two grandchildren on their way to visit this weekend. I suppose they’ll have to do.

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 03:00 pm

Next Time Stick To Actual Pizza

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Next Time Stick To Actual Pizza

I work at a ski resort as an instructor as well as a floater in the resort itself (reception, equipment rental, etc.). I'm finally on lunch when a coworker comes in to find me.
Coworker: "I need you to cover for me."
Me: "I literally just sat down for lunch."
Coworker: "I know and I'm sorry, but some idiot went on a black diamond slope when he's a beginner."

Read Next Time Stick To Actual Pizza

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 02:30 pm

Letting Their Imaginations Run Wild Doesn’t Mean Letting THEM Run Wild

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Letting Their Imaginations Run Wild Doesn’t Mean Letting THEM Run Wild

My cousin and her family are over for the weekend. It’s been about fifteen minutes.
Her youngest has already used three couch cushions to build a fort, dumped out an entire basket of laundry for “carpet snow,” and is currently chasing our cat with a salad fork.
Her middle child runs by naked from the waist down, holding what I hope is chocolate and yelling, "I’M A LAND OTTER!"

Read Letting Their Imaginations Run Wild Doesn’t Mean Letting THEM Run Wild

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 01:30 pm

Frankensoda And The Monster

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Frankensoda And The Monster

Woman: "—Why did you take the last of it? Other people want it too, you know!"
Me: *A little taken aback.* "I didn't know it was going to run out."
Woman: "It's just so rude to take the last of the soda. Why would you do that?!"

Read Frankensoda And The Monster

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 12:45 pm

(no subject)

Posted by Not Always Right

Read

(I have recently written a story for a creative writing class about a river town that engages in human sacrifice to keep the river from destroying the town. My mom does not normally like horror but has become surprisingly invested in the story. My parents also have a cabin in a small town on this […]

Read

Pharyngula ([syndicated profile] pharyngula_feed) wrote2025-07-11 12:45 pm

Make them cry

Posted by PZ Myers

The word is that ICE agents are sad. You don’t like them!

he reality of Trump’s mass-deportation campaign is far less glamorous. Officers and agents have spent much of the past five months clocking weekends and waking up at 4 a.m. for predawn raids. Their top leaders have been ousted or demoted, and their supervisors—themselves under threat of being fired—are pressuring them to make more and more arrests to meet quotas set by the Trump adviser Stephen Miller. Having insisted for years that capturing criminals is its priority, ICE is now shelving major criminal investigations to prioritize civil immigration arrests, grabbing asylum seekers at their courthouse hearings, handcuffing mothers as their U.S.-citizen children cry, chasing day laborers through Home Depot parking lots. As angry onlookers attempt to shame ICE officers with obscenities, and activists try to dox them, officers are retreating further behind masks and tactical gear.

“It’s miserable,” one career ICE official told me. He called the job “mission impossible.”

Poor babies.

Recently, they’ve been whining about a “700%” increase in assaults on ICE agents, but that isn’t as bad as it sounds — they’re phrasing the numbers to make them sound much, much worse than they are. It’s just the standard conservative persecution complex.

While ICE has previously stuck to publishing percentages, Melugin was given raw data, reporting 79 assaults against immigration enforcement agents between January 21 and June 30, up from 10 that took place in the same time last year.

For comparison, from January through May, the New York Police Department reported 970 assaults on uniformed officers in the city (granted, the NYPD employs about 15,000 more officers than ICE does—though Trump’s “big, beautiful bill” would lessen the gap).

They’re not getting beat up. ICE is recognizing that the general public holds them in contempt and that their own organization is authoritarian and abuses its own members. I’m not going to feel sorry for them, though.

I recently spoke with a dozen current and former ICE agents and officers about morale at the agency since Trump took office. Most spoke on the condition of anonymity, for fear of losing their job or being subjected to a polygraph exam. They described varying levels of dissatisfaction but weren’t looking to complain or expecting sympathy—certainly not at a time when many Americans have been disturbed by video clips of masked and hooded officers seizing immigrants who were not engaged in any obvious criminal behavior. The frustration isn’t yet producing mass resignations or major internal protests, but the officers and agents described a workforce on edge, vilified by broad swaths of the public and bullied by Trump officials demanding more and more.

No mass resignations yet? That’s too bad. Crank up the pressure, everyone — not in the form of physical violence, but do let America’s brown shirts know that they are hated, that they are despised and hurting the America they claim to love. More effective than punching them (I know, that would be so satisfying, even if it puts you in jail) would be looking them in the eye, shaking your head sadly, and walking away to phone your representative and write a letter to your local newspaper explaining how wretchedly criminal the thugs of ICE are.

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 11:00 am

This Kid Is Toying With The Law

Posted by Not Always Right

Read This Kid Is Toying With The Law

A kid, maybe seven or eight, comes in with his dad. The kid won't stop begging for toys after being told no, which isn't uncommon, but is particularly petulant. When I hear a product hit the ground, I go to check it out.

Read This Kid Is Toying With The Law

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 09:00 am

Taxing Taxiing, Part 11

Posted by Not Always Right

Read Taxing Taxiing, Part 11

Customer: "Yeah, I’ve been standing at the taxi rank outside the central train station for fifteen minutes. Where are your cabs?! I had to Google you guys!"
Me: "Did you call ahead to book one?"
Customer: "No. Why should I?"

Read Taxing Taxiing, Part 11

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-11 07:00 am

A Froyo-No-No

Posted by Not Always Right

Read A Froyo-No-No

I work at a self-serve frozen yogurt place. A customer approaches the weighing station with a mountain of frozen yogurt and what looks like half the gummy bear population.
Me: "All set?"
Customer: "Not yet. I haven’t added any toppings."

Read A Froyo-No-No

The Devil's Panties ([syndicated profile] the_devils_panties_feed) wrote2025-07-11 04:00 am

07/11/2025

Posted by Jennie Breeden

The only way I get any cleaning done is with Spicy Books but most of them are sooooo baaaaad. 

I left that book halfway through and moved onto “Kill the Farm Boy” audiobook on Libby.