Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-10 07:00 am

These Plants Aren’t The Bees Knees

Posted by Not Always Right

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I work in a garden center and nursery. I see a woman walking in, and she looks… well… awful. She's sniffling heavily, red-eyed, and is working through tissues like a bored cat.
Me: "Ma’am, are you alright? Do you need a seat or some water?"
Customer: *Honking into a tissue.* "No, no, I’m fine. Oh, unrelated, but do you sell plants that are suitable for people with summer allergies?"

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-10 05:00 am

Business Card Is None Of Your Business

Posted by Not Always Right

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Customer: "I saw your Facebook post. You NEED to take it down. That is not my card. My employer saw the post and they’re freaking out."
Me: "I’m sorry, ma’am, I was just trying to be helpful."

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-10 03:00 am
Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-10 01:00 am

No Italiano, Part 3

Posted by Not Always Right

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Dad: "We’ll start with the garlic breadsticks. The cheesy ones."
Me: "We do a traditional focaccia with olive oil and rosemary. No cheese-stuffed anything, sorry."
Teenager: "Then I want a personal pan meat lover’s."

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-10 12:00 am

If He Says ‘Synergy’ I’m Out Of Here

Posted by Not Always Right

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Customer: "Hey, I just wanna know if this model can handle a SIM card or if it’s WiFi only."
Manager: *Stepping in enthusiastically.* "Absolutely! So, at our core, we’re all about optimizing connectivity touchpoints and empowering user autonomy. This device sits at the intersection of mobile freedom and streamlined access."
Customer: "…So… does it have a SIM slot?"

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 11:00 pm

When You Remember That Staff Are Human, Too, Part 5

Posted by Not Always Right

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A man in cargo shorts and a tank top charges up to the front, sweat already soaking through his shirt.
Customer: "Don’t tell me you’re out of AC units!"
Me: "I wish I weren’t, but we’ve been cleared out since this morning."

Read When You Remember That Staff Are Human, Too, Part 5

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 10:00 pm

Toast Leads To A Roast

Posted by Not Always Right

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Clueless Coworker: "Wait… do toasters actually work by heating up the bread? Not microwaving it?"
There’s a short silence.
Coworker #1: "No, they just stare at it until it gets uncomfortable enough to crisp."

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Whatever ([syndicated profile] scalziwhatever_feed) wrote2025-07-09 09:11 pm

Into the Woods

Posted by John Scalzi

Krissy is off visiting friends for a couple of days, and so it falls to me to take the dog for her daily walk through the local nature preserve. I mean, I could not do it, but then I would disappoint Charlie, and, look, you just do not want to disappoint a dog. She will look at you all mopey and sad for the whole rest of the day. No thank you. A walk is vastly preferable. Plus, you know. I need the exercise too.

How has your Wednesday been?

— JS

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 09:00 pm

Now Made With The Tears Of Broke Tourists

Posted by Not Always Right

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It’s a Friday night, and the bar’s packed with tourists fresh off the slots. A man slaps a twenty on the counter and grumbles as I make his old-fashioned.
Customer: "Eighteen bucks? For this? That’s robbery!"

Read Now Made With The Tears Of Broke Tourists

Dork Tower ([syndicated profile] dorktower_feed) wrote2025-07-09 05:00 am

Krypto Currency – DORK TOWER 09.07.25

Posted by John Kovalic

With thanks to my pal Dan Taylor for the inspiration!

This or any DORK TOWER strip is now available as a signed, high-quality print, from just $25!  CLICK HERE to find out more!

HEY! Want to help keep DORK TOWER going? Then consider joining the DORK TOWER Patreon and ENLIST IN THE ARMY OF DORKNESS TODAY! (We have COOKIES!) (And SWAG!) (And GRATITUDE!)

Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 08:00 pm

When They’re Not Ready For Retail… Or Literacy

Posted by Not Always Right

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[New Hire] started on a Tuesday. By Wednesday, we had a betting pool going on how long they’d last, not out of cruelty, but because no one had ever met someone so aggressively unequipped to function in a grocery store.

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Penny Arcade ([syndicated profile] pennyarcade_feed) wrote2025-07-09 06:22 pm

Horseplay

I watched a streamer man called Northernlion run an Umamusume Pretty Derby tournament and thirty thousand people were in the channel. Haven't heard of this potent brand, just as vigorous as the horses that inspired it? Of course you have. It's the anime/manga/music/game series from Cygames about beautiful, fast young women who are reincarnations of famous historical racehorses. Obviously.

Skepchick ([syndicated profile] skepchick_feed) wrote2025-07-09 03:02 pm

The Fungus behind King Tut’s Curse is a LIE

Posted by Rebecca Watson

This post contains a video, which you can also view here. To support more videos like this, head to patreon.com/rebecca! Transcript: In a perfect world, scientists could do their research based upon what topics interest them, and if they find something cool, they should be recognized–celebrated, even!–for their discovery. Maybe they even get a raise. …
Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 06:05 pm

(no subject)

Posted by Not Always Right

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I was waiting for my cookie order at Crumbl. Out of nowhere, this woman with a stroller comes up to me. Mind you, she had, like, 4 or 5 kids with her. Woman: Do you want to move so I can park my stroller? I moved because I usually tend to avoid confrontation in public […]

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 05:55 pm

This New Management Dynamic Is Also Called The Modern World

Posted by Not Always Right

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Female Manager: "[Sexist Coworker], we’re low on lettuce, go refresh the prep station."
[Sexist Coworker] just shrugs. A few hours later, [Female Manager] is checking on us, and it's apparent that [Sexist Coworker] hasn't done a thing. When challenged on this:
Sexist Coworker: "If [Male Manager] wants me to do it, he can tell me."

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Funny & True Stories | NotAlwaysRight.com ([syndicated profile] notalwaysright_feed) wrote2025-07-09 05:45 pm

Caught Green Handed

Posted by Not Always Right

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I’m scanning groceries for a young mom and her son, who looks about six. He’s eagerly unloading items from the cart onto the belt, a loaf of bread, a bag of apples, a can of beans… and then, quietly, a candy bar from the impulse buy section.
Then another.
Then three more.

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Pharyngula ([syndicated profile] pharyngula_feed) wrote2025-07-09 05:27 pm

The MRI results are in

Posted by PZ Myers

My prize is a lateral meniscus tear.

I talked to the doctor today, and she didn’t express any urgency. I have an appointment for a consultation two weeks from today, and until then I’m supposed to take it easy and rest. I’ve been getting restless already, I’m going to be going stir crazy for two weeks, and I have no confidence that there will be anything to do once I get in.

In other sad news, we just learned that our family doctor, Cara Nachbor, has died. Both Mary and I liked her very much — she was a warm and cheerful person, almost 20 years younger than us, and although we’d heard she was having some health problems, she never let it show in her dealings with her patients. Rather, she always seemed energetic and enthusiastic, so it’s a shock that she died so suddenly.

I’m not going to complain about having to lie about for two weeks.