Baring my soul. Now gimme a twenty!

[chaotic_nipple]

You know, there are times when I wish I was a girl. Not for messy psychological reasons, mind you, I'm perfectly happy with the factory installed equipment. No, my reasons are purely practical: A) It's socially acceptable for girls to be housewives, and spend all day raising up the kids, and B) Girls get to carry purses.

You can fit all _kinds_ of useful stuff in a purse. If I could carry one, I'd never have to go without earplugs if I go into a noisy club, or tylenol if I had a sudden headache, or matches if I wanted to burn something. It would be glorious, I tell you, GLORIOUS!

Yes, I hear you: "Why don't you just carry a purse anyway, rebellious non-conformist that you are?" It's not that simple. While I don't mind being socially unacceptable, per se, doing so would be a constant reminder that society has not yet remolded itself in accordance with _my_ wishes. No budding evil genius wants to have to think about that. :-P

Comments

[mommeeof8.livejournal.com]

A backpack works better than a purse. It spreads the weight evenly on your shoulders... It can hold more stuff, also.

[kakiphony.livejournal.com]

My fiance tends to carry his lap-top bag with him everywhere, and he keeps the necessities in it (advil, kleenex, extra headphones, etc.)

I love my Victorinox bag though. It's a sling bag that looks like a miniature backpack and has an ergnomically correct swivel on the strap and a nifty cell phone pocket. My dad carried one when they went to Italy and said it was so sporty he didn't actually feel like he was carrying a purse.

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

I shall remember that. It may be difficult to find here in Madison, if it's not made of hemp. ;-)

[cmorley.livejournal.com]

Well, there's always the fanny pack. Mwah ha ha ha.

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Fanny packs are kinda gay. Not "Fabulous" gay, but "Monkey having sex with a football" gay.

[cmorley.livejournal.com]

What's frightening is fanny packs appear to be making a limited comeback. At least around these parts.

Personally, I have a shoulder strap bag that fits a laptop and whatever else I need to throw in.

[ratphooey.livejournal.com]

Backpack? Messenger bag? There are lots of alternatives without resorting to a man-purse.

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Yes, but all of those things tend to be frowned upon in crowded bars and nightclubs, because of the paranoia of those who suspect you'd be trying to sneak your own booze in. Since that's exactly what I'd be doing, said paranoia is somewhat justified, but still...

Prophecy

[(Anonymous)]

Everywhere you go, you can leave some of your necessary items there. Eventually, you will have necessities on every street in every city in the world. You will have necessities in the woodlands and deserts. You will have necessities in the polar regions and floating in the oceans. One day, you will have necessities in so many places that it will cause massive traffic jams, and - eventually - the break-down in civilization. From the ashes of society, you will rise to power with your endless supply of Twinkees and Tylenol. In your new role as the owner of civilization, you will deign appropriate the carrying of purses by men.

So it has been written, so it shall be.

Re: Prophecy

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

The Goetzie Speaks! So let it be written, so let it be done.

When was your wedding again? I can't seem to find the invitation. I guess it's possible that you decided you really didn't want me there after all, and pressed the self-destruct button. What'd you think you were doing, putting self-destruct devices in your wedding invitations? Weirdo...

[blue-chicory.livejournal.com]

Mike, if you are still a budding evil genius, you are behind the curve. Get on with it, all great geniuses do their best work before 30, right?

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Bah! FOOLS say that! I'll show them ALL!!!!

whats wrong

[shadoutcarver.livejournal.com]

with cargo pockets

Re: whats wrong

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Nothing, but you have to remember to transfer stuff from one set of pants to the other when you change. It's inevitable that stuff gets lost, and just when you needed the mini-thermite grenade, you don't have it.

Re: whats wrong

[shadoutcarver.livejournal.com]

hmm, and when you need one of those, you *really* need one

[suenosdejmi.livejournal.com]

hey, i know you don't know me (stumbled across your lj in looking for icons) and i couldn't help but comment. Manbags are kind of in fashion these days, especially the ones that look kind of close to messenger bags...I don't think there's anything wrong at all with a man carrying one.

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

Welcome! The more minions, the merrier. Um, I mean, feel free to read my blog, which is absolutely free of mind-altering subliminals! No, really!

[anysia.livejournal.com]

I have seen many guys using a 'slung across the chest' canvas or leather bag. Typically hangs along the side, resting on the hip.

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

True. Personally, I look forward to the day when all of our pockets are replaced with interdimensional portals. That would be the ideal solution...

[zloduska.livejournal.com]

Well, boys can wear heavy, multi pocketed cargo pants everywhere without being called a "dyke". So there!

[chaotic-nipple.livejournal.com]

So? You wouldn't wear them anyway, unless they were made of vinyl! ;-)

[wherdragon.livejournal.com]

I second other responses of the cargo pants or a small messenger bag. Or just get a butch purse and be a radical. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Also, you could get many little pouches and carabiner clips, and attatch everything you need/want to your belt. It's noisy, but it works.