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chaotic_nippleSo, I think I actually did pretty well on yesterday's chemistry test. While I might not have aced it, I'm confident I at least made up slightly for bombing the last one. I guess all those pennies I sacrificed to the Black Hole God worked.
... "What is the Black Hole God?" you say? So glad you asked! See, there is a coin funnel in the Physics building on campus, and the Black Hole God is a minor deity that resides therein. Now, I've never actually SEEN said deity, but I know in my heart, spleen, and appendix that It is there, for how else would I have gotten passing grades on math heavy subjects? You see, that is the only area that the Black Hole God is capable of granting prayers in. You drop in pennies, the Black Hole God eats them, if It is satisfied with your offerings you get inspiration on the test, and you can divine the omens relating to your grades from the collisions that may or may not result when you drop several pennies in at once.
Now, some may demand "proof" of all this. Well, I have a photograph right here:
Showing where It lives! You might foolishly demand further evidence, like a picture of the Black Hole God Itself, but I say the mere idea is Hubris. Even assuming that It is visible in Its native form, it would surely be an act of arrogance to shine a light into the funnel and attempt to catch a glimpse of Its diminutive glory. While Its smiting ability is probably only commensurate to Its prayer-answering power, _I_ sure don't want to be struck with hangnails for such a blasphemous act.
... "What is the Black Hole God?" you say? So glad you asked! See, there is a coin funnel in the Physics building on campus, and the Black Hole God is a minor deity that resides therein. Now, I've never actually SEEN said deity, but I know in my heart, spleen, and appendix that It is there, for how else would I have gotten passing grades on math heavy subjects? You see, that is the only area that the Black Hole God is capable of granting prayers in. You drop in pennies, the Black Hole God eats them, if It is satisfied with your offerings you get inspiration on the test, and you can divine the omens relating to your grades from the collisions that may or may not result when you drop several pennies in at once.
Now, some may demand "proof" of all this. Well, I have a photograph right here:
Showing where It lives! You might foolishly demand further evidence, like a picture of the Black Hole God Itself, but I say the mere idea is Hubris. Even assuming that It is visible in Its native form, it would surely be an act of arrogance to shine a light into the funnel and attempt to catch a glimpse of Its diminutive glory. While Its smiting ability is probably only commensurate to Its prayer-answering power, _I_ sure don't want to be struck with hangnails for such a blasphemous act.