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The moral of the story is:
Dec. 23rd, 2008 03:41 pmIf you are a 12-year old girl, and a couple of guys jump out of an unmarked van, scream that you're a prostitute, and try to drag you inside, you should _not_ resist, nor should your father try to help you out, because those fine upstanding gentleman might be undercover cops. Ah, Texas. I thought having an armed populace was supposed to _prevent_ egregious governmental abuses like this? :-P And the really sad thing is, if the girl had been a prostitute, but every other detail in the story was the same, it would never have gotten in the papers at all. Hell, it probably wouldn't have even if the cops had been up to no good, and raped and beat her on the way to the station, as they are alleged to so often do.
Snow. YUCK!
Dec. 1st, 2008 06:01 amWhen _I_ am Evil Overlord, snow will be outlawed. Then only outlaws will snow. Grrrrr...
Random morbidness.
Nov. 10th, 2008 02:17 amOne of the ways I combated boredom in Iraq was contemplating how I would use my inevitable maiming as an opportunity for self expression and personal adornment. "Let's see, if I lose a hand AND a hand AND an eye, I'll have the best pirate costume EVER!" That sort of thing.
I think I was starting to run short of actual good ideas, when it occurred to me that if I lost a leg far up enough to require a partial hip prosthesis, I'd be able to get it chromed, and tell people to "Bite my shiny metal ass!" While this wouldn't have really made up for losing a whole leg (and probably some genitals in the process), it would have been funny, for a while at least. And even after it had _stopped_ being funny, I could still keep saying it, because who's going to tell a one-legged eunuch that his jokes are wearing thin?
I think I was starting to run short of actual good ideas, when it occurred to me that if I lost a leg far up enough to require a partial hip prosthesis, I'd be able to get it chromed, and tell people to "Bite my shiny metal ass!" While this wouldn't have really made up for losing a whole leg (and probably some genitals in the process), it would have been funny, for a while at least. And even after it had _stopped_ being funny, I could still keep saying it, because who's going to tell a one-legged eunuch that his jokes are wearing thin?
Now tell me how brilliant I am!
Oct. 14th, 2008 08:08 pmI have an idea that could, dare I say it, CHANGE THE WORLD! Someone with better coding skills than I will be needed to actually implement it, and reap the profit thereof, but I don't care, as long as I get credit for the idea itself. Being known as the Savior of Western Civilization will be enough for me, I don't need the money.*
... Oh, you want to read about what the idea actually _is_, and not just take my genius on faith. How demanding of you. Fine, then, here it is: A simple program, preferably for a PDA, but could work for any computer, that keeps track of how much money you owe on your credit cards (and other debts), what the various interest rates and other fees are, and most importantly of all, _your_own_payment_history_, and from this data, will tell you how much that $1.29 donut you're about to charge to your visa card is likely to actually cost you by the time it's paid off. If (Insert Appropriate Gender Neutral Name Here) sees that that donut really _is_ going to cost them $1.29, that's all well and good. But if said consumer notices that said donut is ACTUALLY going to cost them, 3, 10 or 20 dollars before it's paid off (which is not at all unlikely, given how much the average American consumer has hanging over their head), maybe they will rethink their spending habits. For more expensive items, even more so (though personally, I find myself more impressed by the higher price of the little things). If such a program gets written, and comes into common use by "high-risk" consumers, I really think the level of human misery in our society would plummet. Or at least that particular misery caused by chronic indebtedness.
Now, the data used in the program (balances, interest rates, late fees, etc.) could simply be entered manually, but for the impulse buyers who most desperately need this sort of reminder, that might be a deal breaker. Luckily, almost all credit cards and banks these days have web sites, so it would be more convenient to simply have an option to enter in your account numbers and passwords, and let the program monitor this sort of thing for you. Now, this _is_ a potential security flaw, but provided rudimentary precautions are taken, not any riskier than banking online in general. A more likely problem would be that it's not really in the credit card companies' interests for their "best customers" (a.k.a., the poor dupes who get suckered into living beyond their means) to be able to easily see how much they're actually paying, so they're probably going to want to block access. Let them! If enough customers get annoyed at them for putting stumbling blocks in their way, maybe they'll start to realize that the legal loan sharks are not their friends.
I can also see some idiots making a "Moral Hazard" argument, that having an electronic nanny doing the financial thinking for people will make them lazy. To which I say, Bite me! It doesn't matter whether people develop good financial habits through arduous mental effort, or by pushing a few keys when they shop, what matters is that they do it.
*Not that I'll turn money down, if a grateful world decides to shower me with it. But come to think of it, it would be even better if this project was undertaken by unpaid hobbyists, on a open-source, ad hoc basis. If only for the irony value.
... Oh, you want to read about what the idea actually _is_, and not just take my genius on faith. How demanding of you. Fine, then, here it is: A simple program, preferably for a PDA, but could work for any computer, that keeps track of how much money you owe on your credit cards (and other debts), what the various interest rates and other fees are, and most importantly of all, _your_own_payment_history_, and from this data, will tell you how much that $1.29 donut you're about to charge to your visa card is likely to actually cost you by the time it's paid off. If (Insert Appropriate Gender Neutral Name Here) sees that that donut really _is_ going to cost them $1.29, that's all well and good. But if said consumer notices that said donut is ACTUALLY going to cost them, 3, 10 or 20 dollars before it's paid off (which is not at all unlikely, given how much the average American consumer has hanging over their head), maybe they will rethink their spending habits. For more expensive items, even more so (though personally, I find myself more impressed by the higher price of the little things). If such a program gets written, and comes into common use by "high-risk" consumers, I really think the level of human misery in our society would plummet. Or at least that particular misery caused by chronic indebtedness.
Now, the data used in the program (balances, interest rates, late fees, etc.) could simply be entered manually, but for the impulse buyers who most desperately need this sort of reminder, that might be a deal breaker. Luckily, almost all credit cards and banks these days have web sites, so it would be more convenient to simply have an option to enter in your account numbers and passwords, and let the program monitor this sort of thing for you. Now, this _is_ a potential security flaw, but provided rudimentary precautions are taken, not any riskier than banking online in general. A more likely problem would be that it's not really in the credit card companies' interests for their "best customers" (a.k.a., the poor dupes who get suckered into living beyond their means) to be able to easily see how much they're actually paying, so they're probably going to want to block access. Let them! If enough customers get annoyed at them for putting stumbling blocks in their way, maybe they'll start to realize that the legal loan sharks are not their friends.
I can also see some idiots making a "Moral Hazard" argument, that having an electronic nanny doing the financial thinking for people will make them lazy. To which I say, Bite me! It doesn't matter whether people develop good financial habits through arduous mental effort, or by pushing a few keys when they shop, what matters is that they do it.
*Not that I'll turn money down, if a grateful world decides to shower me with it. But come to think of it, it would be even better if this project was undertaken by unpaid hobbyists, on a open-source, ad hoc basis. If only for the irony value.
If another potential roommate falls through, due to the current roommates COMPLETE AND UTTER INABILITY to do anything on a reasonable schedule. I swear, she has the time-management skills of a sloth with attention deficit disorder. _Every_single_time_ she has to do something that involves planning or foresight, she grossly underestimates the time and effort required to do it. _Every_single_time_, she rushes and scurries at the last minute, all the while complaining about how harried she is. But she never actually learns from this experience, much less resolves that next time will be different. Oh no, it's always caused by external factors completely beyond her control; if she'd only had enough TIME! :-P This philosophy also extends to paying bills, by the way; Good thing the utilities were in her name and her chronic lateness isn't affecting MY credit. She's known she was moving for 6 months, she could easily have packed everything up long go, instead of waiting till the week before, confident that this time would be completely unlike every time before. If _I_ end up moving, I guarantee it will take me, AT MOST, 4 days to pack and move everything. And that's with the bitching and cursing I plan on doing. Hopefully, this won't be necessary.
Worker's Comp! Worker's Comp!
May. 19th, 2008 01:05 pmA co-worker who shall remain nameless (since I don't remember her LJ name at the moment) horrifically injured me this morning. As I was handing a piece of paper to her, she yanked it away, and in the process _lacerated_ my finger. And you know what she did then? She LAUGHED! Oh, she said "My God, I'm so sorry!" but her giggling ruined the attempted apology. Grrr...
YOU GOTTA BE ^&#%ING KIDDING ME.
Apr. 26th, 2008 08:45 amSnow _again_? I don't care if it was only a "few flakes", enough is enough. I _was_ sympathetic, Mother Earth, but you just HAD to push it. I'm gonna go out and release a bunch of CO2 into the atmosphere RIGHT NOW. That'll show ya...
Another sign of old age.
Apr. 25th, 2008 10:33 amAnyone else remember those idiotic wallet sized "backpacks" that were fashionable back in the mid 90s? I saw someone wearing one the other day. I bet they're "retro" now. Blech. :-P
The goddamned telemarketer who woke me up just when I was getting to sleep, claiming I owed them money, refused to provide a phone number or address, and then hung up when I requested that they send all correspondences via snail mail. I won't be able to get back to sleep now, I have to work all night, and go to class tomorrow. I hope he contracts something painful, lingering, and humiliating. :-P
(no subject)
Mar. 27th, 2008 05:13 pmWhy the heck is this Iraqi:
Wearing a DLI pin? I somehow doubt that either A) He's affiliated with that fine institution, or B) That crest means something else in some other context. Apparently, Iraqi officers just get to make up their own damned uniforms. :-P
Edit: For comparison purposes, here's a picture of the crest by itself:
Wearing a DLI pin? I somehow doubt that either A) He's affiliated with that fine institution, or B) That crest means something else in some other context. Apparently, Iraqi officers just get to make up their own damned uniforms. :-P
Edit: For comparison purposes, here's a picture of the crest by itself:
Well, _that_ was unpleasant.
Feb. 18th, 2008 01:46 pmThis morning, while walking to the bus stop, I slipped and fell. I don't think I did any permanent damage, but I'm pretty sure that had I fallen only slightly harder, I would have broken my arm. I am equally sure that, even 5 years ago, my reflexes would have been good enough to recover before falling. Cursed aging! Now I see why so many otherwise virtuous Northerners forsake their homeland for the decadence of the South, for at least a few months a year. :-P
Keeping up appearances.
Jan. 30th, 2008 10:55 amMy, today's weather is pleasantly bracing. Invigorating to the lungs and soothing to the skin, it is. All of our fine Southern friends should come up and partake of this wholesome and clear winter air with us. Southerners, stop reading now. What this really means, of course, is "JESUS F*&$ING BIGFOOT ON A POGO-STICK, IT'S COLD!!!!". Not that I'd ever admit it to the danged rednecks...
Any day now...
Jan. 4th, 2008 01:25 pm... There will be the first "Barely-legal" porn star to have been born in the 90s. I feel so damned old.
A Cunning Plan that Cannot Fail!
Dec. 20th, 2007 10:30 amI've been thinking about the whole illegal immigration thing. Now, as anyone with an ounce of gray matter realizes, the root cause of the problem is not desperate third-world peasants who want to come here to work, but the shiftless corporate criminals who hire them. So, my proposed solution is twofold: First, anyone found to have knowingly hired an illegal immigrant automatically loses their citizenship (after a fair trial of course) and gets shipped to Mexico themselves, and gets fined, well, every piece of property they own. The second part is the fun one, though: The first illegal immigrant to narc on a given employer, will automatically _get_ citizenship, and a goodly portion of said corporate criminal's stuff. I predict that within a week, the demand for illegal workers will dry up, at which point, lacking any other employment options, the illegals will all go away of their own accord. Sure, this may seem harsh and arbitrary, but is it really any more draconian that the plans the right-wingers rant about all the time?
Time to get on another NSA watchlist...
Dec. 9th, 2007 11:16 amYou know what would be funny? If one or more of the pro-torture politicians/Faux News talking heads/wingnut bloggers out there got themselves kidnapped and tortured "Interrogated in an enhanced manner" into confessing that they, personally, were not only Al Qa'ida operatives, but Blood-Drinking Satanists, Illuminati spies, and Reptoids. The recorded bogus confessions could then be posted on youtube, and/or broadcast on national TV. Understand that I'm not actually _suggesting_ that anyone do this. It would be horribly illegal, after all. But it would also be freakin' HILARIOUS, and it just might serve to convince a few of the obsessive "24" viewers out there that torture is not, in fact, a reliable source of intelligence. Of course, the rest will immediately start blathering about "Scalo-Fascists".
Because I do. I really, really do. When I am Evil Dictator, there will be two days in which it is allowed, those being Christmas Eve and Christmas day itself. Any other day, merely humming M*&%^#$(*&ing "Frosty the Snowman" will be a one way ticket to the Grinchification camps. :-P
Kids are lazy and unmotivated these days.
Oct. 31st, 2007 01:31 pmWhy was I the _only_ one in any of my classes in costume today? There was a time when college students would actually celebrate HALLOWEEN, not just the weekend before. For shame, Madison. For shame.
People who can't park right on crowded streets. Little is more annoying than seeing a stretch of curb that could _easily_ fit 4 cars, but can't because of the 2 morons parked there didn't leave enough space in front or behind. Grrr....
Ya know what sucks?
Sep. 26th, 2007 08:58 pmSeeing a girl who would be ABSURDLY hot, except she has defiled her hair by turning it into dreadlocks. Hideous as the hairstyle is on curly-haired black people, at least they have the dubious excuses of tradition and biology. Straight-haired palefaces, though, have no excuse whatsoever. Except maybe for pot-headedness. Bleh. :-P
