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notalwaysright_feedRead Has A Bone To Pick With Your Biscuit
Customer: "Are these treats gluten-free?"
Me: "Most of them, yes. We use oat and rice flours, no wheat, and no preservatives."
Customer: "Good. My labradoodle has a very sensitive gut."
notalwaysright_feedRead Ungodly Assumptions
I stopped at a Walgreens on my way home just to get cases of bottled water (didn’t feel like driving to an actual grocery store).
I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans, very casual. I hoisted three packs of water, and as I was somewhat struggling to get to the register, a lady rudely asks me:
Customer: "Am I in the right place?"
Read Ungodly Assumptions
notalwaysright_feedRead Better ‘Watch’ Who You’re Threatening
Customer: "Make it fast. I don’t like leaving it out of my sight."
Me: "No problem. This should take just a couple of minutes."
I pop the old battery out, replace it, and reset the hands.
Customer: "Careful with the back. One scratch and it loses its value."
notalwaysright_feed
Manager: "I thought you said you went to Mexico?"
Coworker: "I did."
Manager: "But Mexico is a desert."
Coworker: "The north is; close to the US border. Southern Mexico is actually a rainforest. I was in Cancún, so I was way down south."
Manager: "Rainforest? So you went to Brazil, then?"
notalwaysright_feedRead Some Customers Are Particularly Pun-gent
I scan the first item, a bag of oranges.
Dad: "Orange you glad we started with that?"
His daughter exhales like she’s aged a year. I scan a loaf of bread.
Dad: "That's the yeast I could do!"
notalwaysright_feedRead When You Get A Sink-ing Feeling
Customer: "Our dishwasher died, and all these newer ones are too [sexist slur equating women to being weak]! You got any dishwashers that don’t take two hours to run? I don’t have all day to wait around for clean forks!"
notalwaysright_feedRead When Movies Come Out On A Friday, With First Showings On A Thursday, And Customers On A Wednesday…
Customer: "I'll take two tickets for [Movie] for your 5:00 pm showing."
Me: "I apologize, sir, but [Movie] doesn't officially come out until Friday, and our first showings aren’t until the 7 PM pre-screenings tomorrow night."
Customer: *Immediately becoming irate.* "But it says you have it online! My wife saw it online!"
Read When Movies Come Out On A Friday, With First Showings On A Thursday, And Customers On A Wednesday…
pharyngula_feedA sudden, vivid flash of memory:
A Martian princess and a doctor replace the women on Mars, destroyed by atomic war, by raiding Puerto Rico while a shot down android terrorizes all.
It’s summertime. I’m 9 years old, I’m clutching a couple of quarters in my hand, every day I’m checking the posters outside the Vale Theater in Kent, and I’m eagerly going to the Saturday afternoon matinee, to see this movie. It was awesome. This was high cinema in the 1960s — it had two rubber monsters, Martian invaders, and a bikini beach party.
Watch the trailer here, or you can watch the whole thing for free on Tubi. There’s also going to be a watch party on Mastodon this evening. It sounds like a great way to spend an evening.
pharyngula_feed
If you’re like me, that picture will make you start identifying all the anatomical errors.
This was fun. I found a paper about developing an arachnophobia scale, a questionnaire that someone could use to evaluate a person for arachnophobic tendencies, title Questionnaire Dimensions of Spider Phobia, by Watts and Sharrock. I figured I’d breeze through it, see that I’m clearly an arachnophile, and get a good laugh. Except…I think I would personally mess up their metrics. I’m apparently some weird outlier.
But I’m not. You know who is weird? These people.
In the cognitive domain a distinction emerged between those who were very vigilant for spiders, constantly scanning for them. Generally visual scanning was predominant. but one pilot S claimed also to use her senses of smell and hearing to detect spiders. She frequently lay awake listening for them. For others, cognitions about spiders took the form of distressing internal preoccupations. They felt haunted by spiders, imagined them vividly and often dreamed about them. They tried to think about spiders as little as possible.
Anyway, so I pulled up their questionnaire and quickly realized it’s not appropriate for typical people — you know, the kind who love spiders.
Their questions are organized into a couple of reasonable categories: vigilance, preoccupation, and avoidance/coping. So first, let’s see if you’re vigilant about spotting spiders.
Do you check the lounge for spiders before sitting down?
Yes. You wouldn’t want to sit on one and crush it.
Do you ever make plans in case you come across a spider?
Yes. I’m often intentionally planning to find spiders.
Do you sometimes look at the corners of the room for spiders?
Yes. Also the walls, ceiling, and floor.
When watching television, would you notice a spider crawling across the floor elsewhere in the room?
Yes.
Do you check the bedroom for spiders before going to sleep?
No, not really. I’m usually looking forward to a good night’s sleep.
Would your mind be a lot easier if spiders didn’t exist?
Sick! No! Spiders are an important part of the ecosystem!
Are you always on the lookout for spiders?
Yes.
Have you a “plan for action” in case you find a spider in the kitchen?
Of course. I have capture vials stored in the kitchen.
Do you make very certain there are no spiders around before taking a bath?
Why? Am I shy?
Do you sometimes sense the presence of a spider without actually seeing it?
Yes. The most tell-tale signature is seeing silk threads.
If there’s a spider in the house. are you the most likely person to find it?
No. Mary has a very good eye.
Can you spot a spider out of the corner of your eye?
Yes, if one is there.
The next category is preoccupation, like whether you are obsessed with spiders. I’m not going to do well here.
Do you sometimes dream about spiders?
Yes.
Do you think a lot about spiders?
Yes. And what’s wrong with that?
Do you worry more about spiders than most people?
Definitely. I worry about the health of the spider population all the time — for instance, the grass spiders appear to be late in their annual appearance. I hope they’re OK.
When you imagine a spider, can you see parts of it in great detail?
I am very familiar with spider anatomy, so yes.
Do you ever find yourself thinking about spiders for no reason?
Not for no reason.
Do you sometimes find it an effort to keep thoughts of spiders out of your mind?
Why would I make that effort?
Do you often think about particular parts of spiders for example the fangs?
I’m more of a palps man, myself.
Are you sometimes distracted by thoughts of spiders?
Never distracted.
Are you sometimes haunted by thoughts of spiders?
Weird choice of words…no, not haunted.
When watching television do you think more about the danger of there being a spider in the room than about the programme?
It is not dangerous to have a spider in the room.
Have you had nightmares about spiders?
No. Do you have nightmares about beautiful women (or men) jumping into bed with you?
The next block of questions are about how you cope when you see spiders.
Can you deal effectively with spiders yourself when you find them?
Yes.
Do you get other people to get rid of spiders when you find them?
“Get rid of”? Why?
Would you know how to cope with spiders in the bath?
Put your hand down, lift them out, set them free.
Do you sometimes use a book or a newspaper to deal with a spider?
Spiders can’t read and are uninterested in human news.
Do you feel a lot more secure if someone else is in the house in case you come across a spider?
The someone else is probably more dangerous than the spider.
When you find a spider in a room, would you avoid going in that room until someone else had removed it?
There are spiders in every room. Avoiding them would require going outside, and there are even more spiders there.
Would you get help if you came across a spider?
Help to do what?
If you find a spider in the bath, would you, say, use a shower to wash the spider down the plughole?
Sadist. Hell, no.
If you discover a spider in the room, do you leave the room straight away?
Why?
Would you think about using a broom to deal with a spider in the kitchen?
That’s useless. Small paintbrush, and a cup.
Cognitive/behavioral items!
When imagining a spider, is it always the same one or kind?
I know an awful lot of kinds of spiders.
Do you ever lie in bed at night and listen out for spiders?
No. They are very, very quiet.
If you thought you saw a spider would you go for a close look?
I usually do.
When you see a spider. does it take a long time to get it out of your mind?
No, because it is then a permanent resident of my memory palace.
Are you slightly scared to enter a room, say a bathroom, where spiders have been in the past?
Ridiculous. Spiders have been and will be in every room.
Another category is factual knowledge. These are stupid. Of course I know the answers to these questions.
Are spiders insects?
Do spiders have SIX legs?
Are spiders solely meat eaters?
Have you a good idea whereabouts spiders are likely to appear?
Do you know when (what time of year) you are likely to come across a spider?
They don’t provide a scoring sheet or answer key, you’ll just have to decide for yourself if you feel arachnophobic.
smbc_comics_feed
Hovertext:
Really, any noise other than hatred or complete lack of interest should not be allowed.
notalwaysright_feedRead Give The Old Guy Free Pizza!
Last night I took an order, and on the receipt were directions to call when about five minutes out. I called, and a heavily-accented guy answered and said he ran to the store and his dad would answer the door, and to give him the phone when I got there.
When I got to the door, an old, probably in his 80s, guy answered. He certainly didn't match the accent of the caller. He seemed super confused as I handed off the phone.
notalwaysright_feedRead Maybe Virtua-Maui Is Still Affordable?
Cousin: "The thing about decentralized finance is, you gotta think long-term. That’s how the big players move."
Uncle: "Last month, you said you were selling your car to invest in 'digital land.'"
Cousin: "It’s called the metaverse. And yeah, it’s appreciating."
notalwaysright_feedRead Supernatural Natural Childbirth
My mom and I were at a fundraising event for Alzheimer's research. There was a lot of chatting and pleasant conversation, but one woman started dominating it all, going on about her lifestyle and how great it was, and telling us how we all should be doing these same things that SHE had discovered and surely NONE of the rest of us had ever heard of.
notalwaysright_feedRead These Are Some Negatively Charged Oranges
Customer: "Well, the sign says ‘Special Offer: £2.50’."
Me: "Yes. And that’s what it rang up as."
Customer: "But how do I know you didn’t overcharge me before I got here?"
Me: "Because you hadn’t bought them yet."
notalwaysright_feedRead A Bad Case Of The Mondays For Everyone Except Me
Me: "With all due respect, I am not going to be twiddling my thumbs in the cafeteria for five hours every Monday. I have better things to do with my time. And I'm sure so do [other students that are excused from the Monday afternoon classes]."
Teacher: "Well, [last class] is mandatory, so you'll have to figure something out."
notalwaysright_feedOur son is about to move in with some of his friends, he borrows our lawnmower to use at their place because the landlord has complained that the yard is overgrown. Husband “I think he better rethink this, it sounds like they don’t care about how they live”. Me “Because they got notice that the […]
notalwaysright_feedOutside the house where I grew up, there’s a shared bit of lawn between our house and the neighbour’s. The border between our property and theirs runs right through the middle, but there’s nothing to demarcate it, it’s all just lawn. My dad is pretty obsessive and in summer mows the lawn every week. Next […]
notalwaysright_feedDespite my reluctance, as I am severely codependent and moderately paranoid, I’m looking for apartments or rooms to rent at my father’s encouragement to move out. I answer a few ads, and hear back from a family who want to rent out their spare room. When I go to check it out, not only is […]
notalwaysright_feed - Has A Bone To Pick With Your Biscuitnotalwaysright_feed - Ungodly Assumptionsnotalwaysright_feed - Better ‘Watch’ Who You’re Threateningnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - You Mexican’t Be Seriousnotalwaysright_feed - Some Customers Are Particularly Pun-gentnotalwaysright_feed - When You Get A Sink-ing Feelingnotalwaysright_feed - When Movies Come Out On A Friday, With First Showings On A Thursday, And Customers On A Wednesday…pharyngula_feed - They don’t make ’em like this anymorepharyngula_feed - I’m arachnophobic?smbc_comics_feed - Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal - Tonenotalwaysright_feed - Give The Old Guy Free Pizza!notalwaysright_feed - Maybe Virtua-Maui Is Still Affordable?notalwaysright_feed - Supernatural Natural Childbirthnotalwaysright_feed - These Are Some Negatively Charged Orangesnotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - A Bad Case Of The Mondays For Everyone Except Menotalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)notalwaysright_feed - (no subject)![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}