Hopeful news in Iraq.

Courtesy of The Onion

"Iraqi Constitution Ratified, Burned
November 2, 2005 | Issue 41•44

BAGHDAD—The people of Iraq celebrated the passage of their new constitution Monday, in a formal ceremony that included a stirring speech by Iraqi President Jalal Talabani, a series of explosions that left 77 dead, and a traditional dance performed by Iraqi schoolchildren.

Iraqi leaders pose with the constitution after its historic signing.
After many weeks of squabbling and protracted negotiations between Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites, the historic document was declared the law of the land and destroyed late Monday afternoon, in what Talabani characterized as "a vital step toward restoring law and order in this war-torn nation."

Satire, alas. If _only_ the real situation were this optimistic. :-P

Plaigerizing Dan Savage

By way of AmericaBlog:

"Heterosexual Rights Update
by John in DC - 11/01/2005 09:37:00 PM


We interrupt this blog for a Heterosexual Rights update from Dan Savage's "Savage Love" column:
Straight rights update: There were two disturbing developments in the battle over straight rights last week. First: Target. We know the store fills its ads with dancing, multiculti hipsters giving off a tolerant, urbanist vibe and runs hipster-heavy ad campaigns positioning Target as a slightly more expensive, more progressive alternative to Wal-Mart. Well, as John Aravosis revealed on Americablog.org last week, Target's politics are as red as their bull's-eye logo.

The chain allows its pharmacists to refuse to dispense birth control and emergency contraception to female customers if the pharmacist objects on religious grounds. What's worse, the company claims that any of its employees has a right to discriminate against any of its customers provided the discrimination is motivated by an employee's religious beliefs. Read all about it at www.americablog.org and www.plannedparenthood.org.

Second, more troubling news from Tucson, Ariz., where a 20-year-old rape victim called dozens of pharmacies in town before she found one that stocked emergency contraception (EC). "When she finally did find a pharmacy with it, she said she was told the pharmacist on duty would not dispense it because of religious and moral objections," reported the Arizona Daily Star. Emergency contraception, the story continued, "prevents pregnancy by stopping ovulation, fertilization, or implantation of a fertilized egg. The sooner the emergency contraception is taken after intercourse, the more effective it is."

Don't just sit there, heteros. Defend your rights! Don't shop at Target, and write 'em and tell them why you're going elsewhere. (Go to Target.com and click on "contact us," then "Target Corporation.") As for Fry's Pharmacy in Tucson, the shop that wouldn't dispense EC to a freakin' rape victim, the fundamentalist pharmacist claims its her "right" not to do her fucking job.

Well, you have a right to free speech. Call Fry's at 520.323.2695 and ask them why the fuck a pharmacy that won't dispense EC keeps the drug in stock. Do they do it just to torment rape victims? ("Oh yeah, we've got EC-but you can't have any. Don't you know that Jesus wants you to bear your rapist's child?") Rise up, straight people, and demand your rights."

More complaints

These should be the last ones for a while. I hope...

1) People who knock down weapons that are in the office arms rack, and then don't pick them up again.

2) People who leave the sink running while they shave, and then wonder why the water runs out. (Cuz, ya know, we're in a f*#$ing desert, genius!)

3) Smokers who throw their butts on the ground. I bet if they got a finger broken every time they did it, they'd learn their lesson real quick!

4) The fact that Happy Pills shorten my attention span to that of a hyperactive mayfly. Without the mental boost provided by caffeine, I'd not be able to concentrate at all. Of course, too much caffeine makes it even harder to focus. :-P

5) I can't find any Elfquest Legos on the internet. OTOH, I could be the first to make them. Hmmmm....

Step aside, posers.

I'm the REAL THING!

You scored as Classic Goth. Classic! the best kind! actually, you're probably a little of every kind of Goth! you love the old-school stuff! too bad there arent more of your kind around here any more... </td> Classic Goth 75% Denial Goth 63% Industrial Goth 63% Poser Goth 50% Romantic Goth 25% The True Goth Quiz created with QuizFarm.com

Disclaimer: I AM male, though. That's important, even for goths. Most goths, anyway.